Making the choice to share your life with someone can be daunting, especially if you have a history of bad relationships. In fact, the research suggests for many it can be a struggle. The key to making a future relationship stick is to unload any baggage you acquired in previous relationships before entering into your new union.
Healthy relationships are built on respect, and respect is built on five key principles: trust, accountability, safety, honesty, and support. These relational pillars can’t be manufactured or faked.
During the honeymoon phase of a relationship, where wooing a partner with buying gifts for guys and girls, putting on best behaviors and other romantic acts are the norm, it’s important to understand that these are not the behaviors that sustain a relationship for the long term.
Implementing these five principles into your relationship will help you overcome any feelings of insecurity or hesitancy curated in past relationships and allow your new union to blossom.
No relationship can function without some level of trust between two partners. Trust can be difficult to restore once it has been broken, even if your trust has never been betrayed by a current partner.
In order to establish more trust within your current relationship, try learning to accept your partner’s word at face value and always give your significant other the benefit of the doubt. Searching for hidden meanings behind the things your partner says, or looking for ways to catch him or her in a lie, can quickly kill any relationship.
Being in a relationship means you have someone you can rely on for emotional support, but it also means you must be willing to provide emotional support for your partner as well.
Individuals who have been jaded in past relationships can find it difficult to be completely open with their current partners. It’s important that you are willing to accept responsibility for your mistakes, and forgive your partner’s minor transgressions as well, if you want to establish the type of accountability that leads to emotional openness.
Being hurt in a past relationship can cause you to feel insecure or unsafe in a future partnership. In order to establish a healthy relationship, you and your partner must both feel safe in the union.
Be willing to communicate openly and in a non-threatening manner when you are dissatisfied with your partner, and allow your partner the freedom to come to you with problems in the relationship as well. Talking through differences in a safe way (without accusations, violence, or defensiveness) helps to establish feelings of mutual respect, which can contribute to the success of your relationship in the future.
Few things can destroy a relationship like dishonesty. Discovering that a past partner has lied to you can create feelings of distrust in your current relationship. It’s important that you assume your partner is being honest until proof otherwise surfaces.
Accusing your loved one of being dishonest can cause him or her to feel disrespected, and result in a wedge being driven between you two. Always communicate honestly with your partner, and assume that your partner is doing the same, and you will have the type of honesty that leads to the creation of a respectful relationship.
One of the ultimate ways that you can show respect for your current partner is by being willing to value his or her opinions and choices. Be understanding and show that you care about the things your partner is passionate about in life.
When mutual support exists within a relationship, both partners feel valued and respected. These feelings make a successful relationship more likely. Learning to establish respect in your current relationship through trust, accountability, safety, honesty, and support will help you leave your bad relationships where they belong — in the past.